slow down

I don’t know if it’s because things at home are a bit rough or I just don’t have time to spend with friends or even myself, but I’ve been feeling anxious to grow up and have a (more) stable life. And be married. Well, not married, but not living with my parents. I guess I’m confused as to why I want to grow up so fast these days and already settle down. Escapism? Somebody please share with me how I can better enjoy my 20s with little-to-no time on weekdays, with very few friends in town and a boyfriend a 5-hour busride away. I just want to spend my days working, and my nights and weekends just relaxing with him and a puppy, reading, going antiquing, taking daytrips, visiting small markets. 

Basically, I wish I could fast-forward a few years – and really, when I think about it, that’s no way to live – to wish you could skip the present. These days I’m just existing, but I want to live and enjoy the time I have right now, no matter how bland it may be or how trapped I may feel.

sublimation

These past few days, I’ve been channeling my aggression / stress / frustration into hard-core browsing (which leads to whipping out the plastic) and indulging in salty, salty foods. I would not be surprised if this is the week that will cause me to have hypertension in the near future… but at least now I have a good feel for Polaroid’s history and it has led to my being an educated consumer about their soon-to-be outdated products.

The stress that has been accumulating is aggravated by my commute – I noticed this morning that there is no other time during the day that so many strings of profanity are screamed. By me. Inside my head.

I’m wondering if we haven’t spoken because you refuse to apologize – or do you expect an apology from me?

ugh, commute

What’s worse than sitting squashed in between two fat people during your morning commute?

Sitting squashed in between two fat people, one of which is HUMMING. WHO THE FU*K hums in an enclosed public space?! Kanye turned up high couldn’t even drown her out. I don’t think it was a matter of volume, but humming is a lower frequency than just conversation? and I guess that makes it more difficult to tune out.

I wanted to tomahawk her.

“You’ve been tomahawked. That’s my show. Tomahawked.” – Peter Griffin

september?!

It was the strangest thing this morning, I kept feeling like I was back in high school because I haven’t experienced fall weather in NYC for 4 years now. The nights are getting colder and the air is so crisp in the mornings, I felt as if I was supposed to transfer to the uptown 6 again. But I’m excited for winter, peacoats & boots now

This weekend, J, T, S & I met up for dinner – we all drove separate cars, ate an hour-long dinner followed by a 2.5 hour-long conversations about jobs and marriage, and drove ourselves home. How scary is that??